Have you ever had anyone tell you they understand what you may be going through? I do and sorry to say but it does nothing but piss me off. Unless you are married to someone that has been to Afghanistan and came back with both legs gone, then you don't understand and you will never understand what I am going through. Just like I will never understand what Jeremy goes through on a daily basis. The only thing that I can do is be there for him and listen. We have both gone through different emotions at different times.
There have been moments where I have felt moody, tired, depressed, and not interested. I get pissed off at myself because I should not be feeling like this and then it makes me start to feel guilty. The accident was back in April, so why in hell do I feel as if it just happened yesterday? I have seen a few doctors now and been on a few medications now and the common answer they all have for me is, is that I should speak to a Therapist. A year after high school, I went to see an anger management therapist. That guy was angrier and crazier than I was. So again, this therapist will have no idea what I'm going through either so why waste mine and his/her time? I'm not even sure what I am expecting when I do go to these appointments. Maybe I am looking for someone to vent to and I am just not realizing it. Or maybe, it's just something that I need to do on my own and not when other people tell me I need to do it.
I definitely know that my family needs me back to the point that I once was. I need myself to be back to that point. I absolutely hate feeling like this. I have the greatest husband and child in the world so why wouldn't I be feeling great? This past Sunday for the first time I was able to sit and tell Jeremy how I was actually feeling. He would always ask and I would just tell him nothing. It felt good to include him in on with what I was going through. So, maybe that is the route I will take for now and re-evaluate myself again in 3 months! lol
Don't get me wrong in any way though. I love my life, I love my husband, I love my child, and I love my family. I wouldn't ask to be anywhere else in my life than right here right now. I am extremely proud of my husband and for our family. We have all come a long way!
Thanks for listening.......
